14
NIRVANA
“He’s not!” I glared at Kailin. “This dickhead? This arrogant son of a bitch is my soulmate? No freaking way! I don’t accept it! And I don’t believe in that mate thing. This is insane.” I left the kitchen when the silence became deafening.
“You can’t deny the mating bond, the pull, Nirvana. This is what it is,” said Zarah.
“Well, I’m not one of them. At least, not right now. So, I’m out that setup or whatever the Moon Goddess has cooked up there or wherever she is. Why him anyway? He hates me. He kicked me out and treated me like garbage.” All of a sudden, I remembered what he said to me before I interrupted him. “Why? Because I’m not like him? Because I’m only human who happened to be blonde. Well, get this. I hate him, too.”
“Don’t say something like that, Nirvana.” Zarah just freaked out as if I pulled out a pin of the grenade in my hand.
“Why? Because he’s a freaking werewolf and an alpha, whatever does that mean. I don’t give a damn about any of these. Three days ago, I was just a normal adult and wanted to keep it that way. And he said something about rejecting me.”
“Your words against your mate are powerful. You can’t say something like that. You meant it or not, it could hurt him, physically and emotionally. It hurts his wolf so much you can’t fathom the effect on him.”
“I don’t care. Why did he come anyway? He doesn’t need a soulmate. I don’t even know if he has a soul anyway.” As stubborn as I was, I kept talking. “He rejected me, so do I.”
“Please, stop.” Those words came from Knight in the kitchen, and he sounded like he was in pain.
“Why? Now I understand why you suddenly became nice to me last night because you didn’t have much of a choice, did you? Or was it because I could be useful to your group of wolves.”
“It’s called Pack,” said Kailin. “Please, don’t hurt him. We need him, Vana. I know he hurt you, but I’m begging you, as my best friend, to try to reconsider it. Don’t reject him. It could kill him.”
“What? Why?” I asked her in shock.
“The rejection is too powerful. It causes misery and unbearable pain to mates, and eventually, it ends up with us dying or killing ourselves.”
“Well, he did it to me, did he? Why he isn’t in pain?”
“He did not finish it, and you did not accept it,” Zarah replied.
“Then I’d rather be alone in my life than to be with him. I reject-”
“Don’t do this, please?” Kailin was so fast to come to me and cover my mouth. “You have no idea what you’re doing, Vana. I know you’re in shock, but the damage will be permanent and fatal once the words are out of your mouth. Please? I don’t wanna lose him.”
“Goddess! Agh! Stop!” Knight just screamed and growled, echoing in the entire apartment as if he were in so much agony.
“Oh, no.” Kailin let me go as she ran into the kitchen. “Zarah, do something!”
At a slow pace, I took a step toward where Knight was. He was on the floor, on four, but he looked like he was struggling with so much excruciating pain, his muscles straining. He was profusely sweating all over his body, and then he crawled towards the wall as if trying to claw his way out.
I still didn’t understand what was going on. All I could see was he was haunted with spikes of rippled, never-ending agony that hurt me as well as I watched him in that position- I felt his misery and suffering.
“Make it stop! I can’t take it anymore!” he whined again, growling like a feral animal in torture.
“What’s going on?” No one seemed to hear me.
“Knight, take a deep breath,” Zarah said calmly.
“You did this, honey. You have to stop it before Knight hurts himself.” Finally, I heard Grandpa talk.
“What did I do?”
“I told you. Your words are more powerful towards him.” Kailin turned to me. “Help him, Vana. Please?”
I stared at her in disbelief.
“Whether you like it or not. He is your mate. And since he rejected you, it’s like you are now accepting his rejection.”
“Oh, Goddess. He’s not going to turn in this room,” Zarah said urgently.
I drew a deep breath before I stepped forward. It would be my fault if he were going to die. And if he clawed my eyes out, then I would be dead.
“Honey, what are you doing?” Grandpa asked immediately. “Be careful. He might not be in control of himself anymore.”Contentt bel0ngs to N0ve/lDrâ/ma.O(r)g!
“I don’t know, Grandpa. Maybe, to calm him down.” I stopped before Knight. All I saw were his dark, sharp claws shining in the daylight. God, it was real. I saw the claw marks on the wall. It was big and deep.
My heart was hammering in my chest, but if I could stop his pain, I would try my best before he could sink those sharp claws into my skin. My limbs were shaking. My teeth tattered as I put a hand on his rigid shoulder.
“Be careful, honey.”
“Knight.” I put a little pressure on his shoulder when he no longer heard me. “Knight, how can I help you?”
“It fucking hurts!” He began sobbing. “It fucking hurts. I can’t stop it. I’m so sorry if I hurt you.”
“Hey.” Trembling, I kneeled before him and placed both hands on his shoulders. “I guess I was shocked and maybe mad at you. I don’t understand any of this, but I didn’t mean what I said. I swear. How can I relieve your pain? I wanna help.”
Knight just dropped to the floor, unmoving.
“Oh, my God.” Shocked, I stared down at him. “What did I do wrong?”
Kailin and Zarah rushed forward.
Kailin checked her cousin. “His breathing.”
Zarah placed her hand on his chest. “He’s alive. I can feel his heartbeat.”
“Is he gonna be okay?” Grandpa asked.
“He’s just exhausted. Help me take him to bed.” Zarah, Kailin, and my grandfather brought him. Knight was giant and probably weighed tons, but he didn’t look heavy for the three of them.
I opened the door to my room and pulled off the blanket. “Put him on the bed. Should we take him to the hospital?”
“That won’t be necessary.” Zarah turned to me. “You can’t say something like that when you’re mad. Don’t ever reject your mate. You and him, whether you believe it or not, you both are stuck through eternity. You may not feel the mating bond, but he does. And it drives him insane to be far from you. What you feel for him and what he feels for you isn’t just the pull. You both are attractive people. The attractions or chemistry are real.”
“He just pissed me off.” I scoffed.
“Tell that to Califf. He locked his mate for three days because Shadow wouldn’t submit.”
“I won’t either.”
“You can’t control it. He would die for you, Nirvana. Their kind is overprotective, possessive, and jealous, but they would give their lives to make you happy.”
“Why did he reject me?”
“His way of protecting you. He didn’t want you to endure life in a dangerous world like where he belongs.”
“How do you know?”
“He reached out to me. I knew the first time he opened his mouth, he had found his mate. He was so adamant that he was not interested in finding one because he knew the risk. I saw it beforehand. Califf and Shadow. Shadow is my best friend’s daughter. She also has a gift. They’d only been together for more than a year, but they’ve been attacked and betrayed.”
“Is that why he asked me to come with them?”
“You should go, honey. I can’t protect you here.”
I turned to Grandpa. “I’m sorry, but I can’t leave you.”
“Yes, you can. My pack will protect me. We protect our own.”
“Then I will join your pack.”
“You can’t. You should be with your mate. And he’s an alpha.”
“So, he’s like the boss?” I snorted as I stole a glance at Knight.
“Yes. He runs a pack of werewolves. We rescued an old pack five months ago and have forty-five members.”
“So you really are a werewolf.” I looked at Kailin, still finding it hard to believe she could turn into an animal.
“Yes. I hope it won’t change anything between us and how you see me. It’s still me, Vana, the girl you met four years ago.” She smiled apologetically.
“Well, Grandpa is one. I guess I just have to learn about all of you.” I looked at Zarah. “Why do I have to be with them?”
“A werewolf that doesn’t belong to a pack is called a rogue, a lone wolf.”
I nodded at Grandpa. “I read about that on the Internet.
He continued, “They can turn feral and vulnerable because no one can protect them. If humans know about our existence, they will do everything to get their hands on you. So make sure no one knows about our secrets. That’s how we keep ourselves alive and how we survive.”