Chapter 42
¬Abella
Noah’s second home here is utterly beautiful.
Tucked right at the edge of the same cliff as Stace’s estate, it has an equally impressive view, even if it is slightly smaller. If I choose to be mated to only Noah, this could be my new life, where I live now. Even though it would be hard to move away from my friends, like Sam, I could manage, especially if it means a chance to start a new life in a place where I originally came from. Where I belong.
Noah leads me through the foyer and into an intimate living room, where he closes the door behind us. My senses are heightened, reacting to everything Noah does; even him brushing past me on the way to sit upon the chaise lounge at the end of the room has my skin erupting with tingles.
I’m not sure what has changed between us. Maybe it was the kiss, to push what had already been dwelling between us all this time into what this feeling is now.
I don’t know what to do with this feeling.
“Does this make me a bad person?” I blurt out, standing in the middle of this dimly lit room, having no intentions to sit down near Noah in order to avoid these sinful thoughts that cloud my mind. He just looks so good, especially under the moonlight that streams through the rear window, dousing the floors and furnishings in white-gold.
“Does what?” I asks absently, sweeping his hair back in an unconcerned manner. He has such a gentle, calm air about him, even after his kiss. I wish I could sustain as much control as he does, as he has done through this entire experience of sharing me with Cian.
I swallow, but my throat is dry. Wordlessly, I come to sit down on the same couch as Noah, trying not to think too much about his scent, or the heat coming from his body.
It was so easy to kiss him. Now, I can hardly be normal around him.
“Wanting you?” I say carefully, unsure of how my words are going to resonate with him. He glances over at me, emerald green eyes glistening with feline excitement. Noah invited me here so we could talk more intimately, however, now we are here, the air is tense, and my skin is sensitive to any proximity to him. It must be the matebond which has had enough of us keeping away from each other.
He tilts his head, dark hair falling to his brow. “Do you want me?”
I look away, unable to hold his gaze. It’s hard to know all the ways I want Noah, and not being able to act on it without thinking of Cian. he would be hurt by this, but either of them could be hurt by whatever my decision will be, or continue to be hurt by me not making my decision.
“I mean… I don’t know yet,” I admit. I don’t want him to think I’m choosing him. I’m so close to deciding what I want, and right now, I don’t want to ruin it.
“You can’t put it off any longer, Abella,” Noah murmurs, gliding ever so slightly closer to me on the couch, closing the gap until we our legs are almost touching. The connection between us seems to buzz and spark as if it’s coming alive. “It’s time to make you decision.”
Loosening a breath, I look up at him, admiring his graceful features, warm eyes and full lips, which are unbelievably alluring. Looking down at them, I call upon the memory of our earlier kiss, and how it made me feel… and how I want to do it again.
“Kiss me,” I say without thinking, not wanting to hold back any longer. If I’m going to find out who I want, I need to accept what I truly desire. And right now, that’s Noah.
Noah smiles softly, obliging me.
Leaning forward, he softly grasps my chin, pulling me toward him gently until our lips meet. I’ll never get over the feeling of kissing him, the taste of him. I’m not sure what my intentions are with kissing him again, in this intimate room, but I know that it’s not to stop. I probably should, yet every inch of my being is begging to be near him.
I know he can feel it to, as the intensity of our kiss increases, his hands pulling my waist until I’m pressed against him. Consumed by a rush of confidence and passion, I push his chest until his back is pressed against the couch. Clambering atop him, I bring my lips back to his, savouring the taste of him, the feeling of his hands which slip brazeningly under my shirt.
Suddenly he is sitting up, as if he can’t lay beneath me any longer, he picks me up by the back of the thighs, walking us from the room and deeper into his unfamiliar home. I don’t protest though, too consumed with the pleasure of having my mate against me and the anticipation of what may come next.
I know what we both want, but can I go through with it? Cian is still my mate, and still has no idea where I am, or what I’m doing.
We emerge into what must be Noah’s bedroom, as he gently sets me down. The room has an equally beautiful view as to the one in the living room, however in this intimate setting, it’s much more to admire. I sit down on Noah’s bed, shivering. My body doesn’t want to stop, doesn’t want to be away from Noah for any longer, but my mind is a muddled, contrary mess.
“Do you think this is a good idea?” I breathe, as he sits beside me.
His gaze softens. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”
Loosening a breath, I push away my cloudy thoughts, not wanting to fear being with my mate, especially since I believe I’ve officially made my decision. I will tell Cian as soon as a return, and hopefully, he will be able to move on , and we can all be happy. One day, maybe. One day when Cian is ready for a mate.
“Not too far. I just want to be close to you,” I murmur, before reaching forward to kiss him.
He smiles against my lips, touching me far more gently this time. I reach for the hem of his shirt, desperate to feel his skin beneath my touch. Once it’s discarded on the floor, I allow my fingers to explore, gently touching the finely muscled planes of his abdomen.
Pulling away from the kiss, Noah shifts down off the bed, kneeling before it. I watch him with a mix of curiosity and excitement, anticipating his next move, as his hands touch my knees before splaying out across my lower thigh, moving slowly upward until they disappear beneath the hem of my dress.
The warmth of his touch erupts tingles in its wake, my back bowing back with the pleasure of just a simple touch. Looking back down at him, I watch as he brushes the skirt of my dress up until it gathers at my hips, his hands coming to a stop at my upper thighs.
“I think I’m ready to choose,” I say breathless, looking down at him and his glistening emerald eyes. He smiles, leaving a soft kiss only a few inches away from the hem of my underwear.
“Are you only saying that because I’m between your legs?” he questions playfully. His fingers inch up impossibly higher, making me shiver.
I lean back. “That’s a great question.”
With a devious smile painted across his face, Noah slowly pulls at my underwear, watching me carefully in case I change my mind. I don’t, my entire body feeling as though it’s set alight, as he leans down, his breath against me having my senses erupt.
I’ve never done this before, yet it feels so right. I’m not shy being bare to him at all. In fact, I feel empowered, and excited.
The moment his mouth touches me, I encompass the endless pleasure that consumes my body, my eyes fluttering closed. His hands pin my hips to the bed as his tongue gently sweeps across me, eliciting a devastating amount of satisfaction that has his name brushing past my lips.
I almost flinch in surprise as his fingers suddenly brush against me before sinking inside me. Reaching out to grip the soft strands of his hair, I feel the deep rumble of his laugh against me. My hips rear up, moving on him, feeling the spiral of pleasure build up to an impossible point as Noah’s hands still try to contain me.
In a burst of light and an immense amount of pleasure I reach a climax, falling back onto the bed as Noah pulls away. He doesn’t push for more, even though I can visibly see his excitement. I don’t want to go all the way, not yet. Not when I haven’t spoken to Cian yet.
I rest my hand on his chest, consumed with a myriad of emotions. It feels as though I have been enlightened, like I made the decision as who I wanted as my mate a long time ago and it’s only come to me right now. And as much as I feel a sickness beginning to form in the pit of my stomach, I know it’s a decision that needs to be made.
“I choose you, Noah. I want you to be my mate,” I say quickly, before I can talk myself out of it. I feel him still under me, shifting until he can look me in the eyes. Within his own, I see a sense of confusion and hopefulness.
“That makes me happier than you could ever imagine,” he admits, his voice breaking slightly. Leaning forward, he litters kisses across my face, pulling away only when my skin is flushed and I can’t stop giggling.
As much as I want to bask in his genuine happiness and celebrate the future, I can’t get Cian out of my head. I’ve made the right decision, I can tell, yet thinking of how he will be affected still makes me want to curl up and cry until I’m numb.
“I wish I could be happy with you,” I admit, watching the clouds drift past lazily out the window. “I can’t stop thinking about what Cian is going to say.”
“He’s going to be hurt, but he will find another mate in the future,” Noah assures me, making me sigh. Him having a mate who he could be happy with, that he would be better suited to would make me impossibly happy.Content protected by Nôv/el(D)rama.Org.
I lean up on my elbows.“But he’s immortal. He’s could have forever to wait for another chance.”
“Can I ask why me, over him?”
“It doesn’t feel as though Cian is ready to truly invest himself in another person. Him and I had chemistry, but it didn’t feel as though he was ready. But I still care about him, even if he wants to annihilate our kind,” I admit, leaning back into the pillow, exhausted from all the worrying. I’ve made a decision now, I can relax.
“I’m grateful you chose me. I don’t think I could ever imagine a life without you,” Noah admits, brushing my hair back gently.
I stare up at the “I honestly have been thinking I don’t deserve either of you, and that I shouldn’t even make that decision.”
“You deserve happiness. We all do, and we will all get it, I promise,” Noah says softly. I want to believe him, but I’m not sure. All I know is I don’t want to hurt either of them, and secretly, I wish this never happened. I would never want to give up what Noah and I could have, yet perhaps it would have been easier on all of us if we never came across each other.
Regardless I lean up, smiling at my mate. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” he murmurs back. And I believe him.