Always Been You

There was no chance of anything more than another brief encounter with him. He hadn’t tried to reach her for so long. And now here he was, being an asshole. Acting like he owned her. She had to stop this and do the walking away herself. Before she gave her heart and soul to him again. Jensen Packard was never going to change.Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

“Is there a reason why you are mad at me right now?” he asked.

She stared at him like she couldn’t believe he had just asked her that. “Screw you, Jensen,” she said. “Get out of my way”.

She tried to move past him, but he stayed right where he was, blocking her escape. She looked up at him and he grinned.

He leaned towards her and said softly. “You know I’m getting a lot of mixed signals from you, Kitty Kat. It’s really confusing” he murmured. “First of all you tell me to leave you alone, and when I do you get so upset. Why is that? I really want to know.”

His words jolted her into looking up, meeting the simmering warmth in his eyes. He was right. She knew this was also her fault. She felt angry. At herself and at him.

“Let me go, Jensen… Please” she said softly. She felt tears coming and she wasn’t going to embarrass herself any further by crying in front of him. She tried to push him, but of course he didn’t move. Instead her hand met with the hot, hard wall of his chest.

“I don’t want you to leave, yet.” he said softly. Then his mouth curved into a sensual little smile. “You look beautiful, Kat. Believe it or not, I couldn’t keep my eyes off you throughout the ceremony”.

“Oh really? Well you certainly did a good job of ignoring me” she said.

“Why is this all on me?” he snapped. “Why am I taking the blame for all of this? I tried. You kept pushing me away”

“I had a good reason”. Katherine said defensively.

“That’s right you had a reason. Only it’s not a good one” he replied. “You were scared. You still are. You have to understand that you are not the only one with feelings, you know. And it hurts me when you push away like that. You have always been good at that… Pushing me away…. Telling me you don’t want me. And we both know you do. So I don’t understand why you insist on fighting it. And just when I’m trying to get you out of my head you show up… With those eyes, your voice and…”

“Jensen….” Katherine began, interrupting him.

“There it is,” he breathed. “That is the same tone you use every damn time. The one that curls around my cock and strokes me until I’m hard as a fucking rock every single time.”

Katherine gasped at his words. “Well, you can’t blame me for being cautious.” she said, trying to ignore the feeling his words aroused inside her.

“It happened five years ago. Damn it. And you got mad at me for holding a grudge when you are still holding on to the past. Using it as a barrier between us. Do you know how much I blame myself for not being there for you? Do you know how much I blame myself for those five long years we spent apart?…. We could have been together, Kat.” he whispered as he lowered his forehead to hers. “We could have been together all those years, damn it.”

Katherine opened her mouth but no words came out. He lifted his head and stared at her. His hand lifted and caressed her chin.

“I stayed away because I thought it was what you wanted.” he said very, very softly. “I felt like if I kept coming, I would just push you further away. And the thought of that scares the hell out of me. You confuse the hell out of me. I’m always sure and confident about everything… Except when it comes to you. I keep thinking, what if you leave again and I never get to see you again. What if I never get to touch you again… Or kiss you… Maybe make love to you… If you let me of course. Because I want to, Kat. So bad.

“I guess I didn’t think that… I didn’t think about it that way” she began breathlessly. “You shouldn’t blame yourself for what happened five years ago. We were both wrong. I guess I have been kinda hard on you. And I’m sorry”

His head dipped towards hers. A kiss was coming. Her heart catapulted around her chest. Her mind screamed that if she still had any doubts, this was the moment to stop him. But her whole body yearned to feel again how it was with him and when his mouth touched hers there was no thought left of pulling back.

Any last shred of denial and doubt was swamped by a rush of blood to the head, blood that sang for all the sensations she craved.

Yes… it was a lilt of exultation as the desire for passionate possession exploded between them.

Yes… it was a fierce throb of satisfaction as his arms crushed her into an intimate awareness of the power of his need.

Yes… it was a paean of triumph that all the barriers that had separated them were being comprehensively smashed.

They kissed and were united in a deep inner world of their own. Feverishly claiming all they could while they could-a savage feast of kissing, of touching, of immersing all their senses in each other.

All Katherine she was aware of was how hard Jensen’s chest felt against hers, how it made her breasts tingle and swell against her dress. His mouth was hard, expertly seeking a response from her and she gave him exactly what he wanted.

She couldn’t think… About anything. Her brain seemed to be disconnected from her body and her mouth. She found her hands clinging to the lapels of his jacket-clinging because her legs had turned to jelly.

When Jensen’s mouth moved away for one second Katherine heard a mewl of distress come from her throat as she blindly sought and found his mouth again. His hands moved-one down her back, the other to the back of her head. She could feel him loosen her hair, so that it fell around her shoulders.