Always Been You

He was sprawled in an armchair. She was on a sofa, one elbow propped on its arm roll, legs up, her stockinged feet bare of the shoes she had kicked off. It was a pose that seductively outlined the very female curve of waist, hip and thigh, and Jensen found it difficult not to let his gaze linger on it.

He expected her to leave. Lately she avoided being alone with him. Any moment now those legs would swing off the sofa, take her away to the privacy of her room, and it was probably better that they did, save him from making a fool of himself. He watched her feet, waiting for them to move. She wriggled her toes. His gaze dropped to the shoes lying beside the sofa, noting the long, narrow shape of them.

“Cramped feet?” he asked.

“They’re not used to wearing fashionable shoes,” she drily admitted. “I usually wear stuff like this once in a while. My life is basically taking care of my job and Tim. I don’t get to wear these a lot”

“Want me to massage them?” he asked.

“Is that a big brotherly thing to do?” she asked, referring to his overprotective attitude earlier. The mocking taunt whipped his gaze up to meet the smoking challenge she was directing straight at him.

Katherine could no longer contain the furious frustration that had been welling up in her all day. Her father was gone. She thought she had made peace with that fact. She had decided to bury her father today and move on. And she had been able to all day, but now, for some reason she was getting angry and letting out all out.

“I am not your little sister and I do not need you to watch over me” she threw at him in seething protest over how he had acted with her-last night, he had held her hand and kissed her forehead as though she were a baby, keeping close to her today, ready to be supportive at any falter on her part, inserting himself at her side whenever he thought she might not be able to handle what he interpreted as possibly unwelcome attention.

He hitched himself forward in his chair, gesturing for understanding, frowning over her reaction. “It was just a friendly offer, Kat. Friendly!” he said.

For him to now sit on the other end of the sofa and nursemaid her to the extent of massaging her toes… It would drive her so crazy she’d probably end up needling his crotch with them! She swung her legs off the sofa and stood up, viewing him with bristling hauteur.

“I’m fine. Thank you” she said. “What’s more, I can handle myself, Jensen, in case you haven’t noticed. Which you should have, since I made the effort not to neuter myself today.”

Jensen grimaced. “Impossible not to notice,” he said. “So what did I get wrong?”

“Wrong?” Katherine repeated.

“Yes. What did I get wrong? Or what did I do wrong? You seem to be mad at me for no reason at all” Jensen said, genuinely concerned about her actions. “You seem angry and you’re taking it out on me”

Katherine knew he was right. But there was no way in hell that she was going to admit that. “You weren’t moved to make any positive comment.” She lifted her arms and tossed her hair back over her shoulders in angry impatience with it hanging around her face-hair she’d spent over an hour shampooing and blow drying so it would look fluffy and feminine. She was tired of crying. She was tired of the grief. Her father was gone… She had to tell herself the truth.. And there was nothing she could do to bring him back.

And so she had decided to move on and be happy. That was what he had wanted her to do anyways. He wanted her to be happy. She loved Jensen, and she was going to give him a chance. Starting from today. Except he hadn’t noticed her. Hadn’t done anything but treat her like a little sister who needed protection from her big brother. The Jensen she knew growing up was suddenly back again. And she dreaded that… The worst part was the fear that it was all her fault.. He had offered a relationship, and she had declined because she didn’t think she was ready. What if he was okay with her decision now? What if she was too late.

“Still not good enough for you!” she muttered, mocking herself more than him.

“Not good enough?” he repeated, incredulously, shaking his head as though hopelessly confused by her attitude. Of course her words made no sense in the context of his little sister’s mind frame. The woman was definitely crazy.

Totally incensed by his insensitivity to this major attempt at changing his view of her, or her view of him, whichever one, Katherine clenched her jaw and headed for the liquor cabinet at the other end of the room, determined on blotting out the stupid futility of trying to change anything where Jensen was concerned.

“Well, I’m certainly old enough to get drunk, big brother” she tossed at him derisively. “Entitled to, what’s more. I just buried my father. So why don’t you go off to bed, Jensen, and leave me to drown my sorrows?”

He suddenly exploded off his chair, grabbing her arm as she moved past him.

“What do you mean by…not good enough?” he said. He bit out the words as though they were killing him. His eyes slashed at hers, trying to cut through to her soul.

The intensity coming from him pumped Katherine up to defy him further. “I dressed up specially for you today. Put on this stupid thing I know you like too” she touched the pearls around her neck. And you didn’t even notice ”

“Of course I noticed them, Kat. I always notice you” he fiercely refuted her. “They are beautiful and they look very good on you”ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

“You didn’t say anything!” Katherine said, not knowing exactly what had come over her. Or exactly what she was angry about.

“What do you want me to say?” Jensen asked fiercely. “That you look fantastic? That I could hardly keep my eyes off you? That I wanted to beat every other man away?”