Beg For Me (Morally Gray Book 3)

I tried. I tried for five whole days to convince myself that I was justified in walking out and leaving him to his merry gang of gorgeous cycling fiends sent from a hell where cellulite and wrinkles don’t exist.noveldrama

I tried and failed miserably because righteous indignation can only take you so far. Once the anger wore off, I was left with the ugly truth.

Those beautiful young girls made me feel ancient.

Through no fault of their own because not only did they not say or do anything even remotely offensive, Katie even asked me to join them. She was friendly.

I was a witch.

A hideous ancient bog witch standing in front of a magical mirror that had just declared she was definitely not the fairest of them all. And wasn’t she also being just a tad ridiculous running around with a man who will still be in his prime when she’ll be getting cataracts and a senior discount at the movies?

Yes. The answer was yes.

But I missed him. And I owed him an apology.

So I crossed my fingers and sent the text. Now, I’m wringing my hands as I pace the living room floor until he arrives.

When I hear a car pull into the driveway, I hurry over to the window and look out. He’s already halfway across the lawn, running to the door.

I fling it open. He crashes into me, pulling me into a hug so tight, I almost can’t breathe. We start to talk over each other, the words spilling out in a jumbled rush.

“I’m sorry I was such a dick—”

“No, I’m sorry—”

“I never should’ve let you leave—”

“I never should’ve said that thing about growing up—”

“I should’ve called you sooner—”

“This was all my fault.”

He pulls away, takes my face in his hands, and kisses me desperately. Then he wraps his arms around me again and clings to me like a life preserver.

“Let me close the door. Come inside.”

He releases me for half a second. As soon as I shut the door and turn around again, he hugs me. We stand silently in the foyer until we’ve caught our breath. Then he lifts his head and looks at me with pleading eyes.

“Let’s not do that again, okay?”

I nod and hide my face in his chest. He exhales hard, smoothing his hand over my hair and gently rocking me in his arms.

Into his shirt, I say, “I want to explain what happened.”

He kisses my cheek and squeezes me tighter. “You don’t have to explain.”

“Yes, I do. I want you to understand.”

I lift my head and look at him. He stares at me with his brows drawn together, his expression worried.

“What did I do wrong?”

That feels like a knife stuck into my chest. I shake my head, going up on my toes to kiss him gently. “Nothing. This had nothing to do with your behavior. This was about me.”

I look down, avoiding his eyes, then break away from his embrace and walk over to the coffee table. Looking at it instead of him, I cross my arms over my chest and confess.

“I didn’t tell you this, but Nick had an affair with his assistant. She was nineteen when they started sleeping together. She’s twenty-two now. Literally half my age. They’re engaged. And he recently told me that she’s pregnant with his child.”

I turn to meet Carter’s gaze. I see the anger burning in his eyes, the outrage for me, but he remains silent. Listening.

“As you might imagine, the situation has left a few scars. And when I saw you with those pretty girls, I lost my equilibrium. On a cellular level, I felt attacked. I got defensive because…”

I swallow and try to keep the wobble from my voice. “I was scared that history was about to repeat itself. But I handled it all wrong, and for that, I’m so sorry.”

Without moving or blinking, Carter stares at me with flared nostrils and a hard jaw. His energy is violent. If I saw him like this without knowing his character, I would be deeply frightened. In contrast to his energy, however, his voice is low and controlled.

“Okay. Thank you so much for all that. It makes total sense. Can I say a few things?”

“Of course.”

“First, I want to kill that motherfucker your ex.”

I don’t respond to that, but I believe him. I believe that if Nick were in this room with us right now, he’d be screaming in pain and bleeding out on my living room rug.

The thought gives me a gruesome sort of comfort.

“He didn’t deserve you. You have to know that, Sophia. He didn’t deserve one fucking minute of your time. Any man who would fail to treat you like the queen you are is not only stupid, but beyond contempt. He had a prize, and he took a shit on it. But that has nothing to do with you or your value.”

Overwhelmed with emotion, I stare at him through a prism of tears.

“Next. About comparing yourself to other women, no matter what age they are…don’t do it. There’s no comparison. In my eyes, none of those girls holds a candle to you. To me, you’re perfection. And when I say that, I’m not exaggerating. I’m not trying to flatter you. It’s just the truth.”

He takes a step closer. “Finally, you’re not going to lose me. There isn’t a single person in the world who could pry me away from you side.”

He pauses to swallow. In a hoarse voice, he says, “For as long as you want me, I’m yours.”

We stare at each other in silence until a car passes on the street outside, blaring the song “King of My Heart” by Taylor Swift through open windows.

I’m not superstitious, but damn does that seem like a sign.

Yes, this might be a disaster. Yes, I might get hurt. I might be making a fool of myself with him, and people I know and love might have serious problems with the two of us together. Carter and me could be all kinds of trouble.

But if I put all that aside and listen to my heart, I have to admit that what it tells me to do is run toward him, not away from him. To be brave, even though I’m scared.

To take a chance on this unexpected connection that might, with a little trust and a whole lot of care, become something beautiful.

I walk over to him, take him by the hand, and lead him upstairs to my bedroom.

Stopping beside the bed, I unbutton his shirt. The fabric parts under my fingers, revealing his body. I press a kiss to his bare chest, right over his beating heart, then look into his eyes.

“You’re everything I didn’t know I needed. I won’t doubt you again. So please be careful with me, Carter, because I’m giving you my heart. I’m trusting you not to break it.”

I unbutton my own blouse, let it slip through my fingers and fall to the floor.

I’m not wearing a bra.

His lips part. He stares at me in what looks like anguish, his brow furrowed and his eyes fierce with tears. Then he sinks to his knees on the carpet and hugs me around my waist, pressing his face to my stomach.

We stay like that for a while in our silent embrace, my hands resting on his head and his strong arms wound around my body. Finally, he lifts his head and gazes up at me. He speaks in a rough, emotional voice.

“I’m never gonna let you down.”

Caressing his cheek, I whisper, “I believe that with my whole heart. Now, let’s put this behind us. Make love to me.”

He rises and kisses me deeply, his arms around my body, his heart beating wildly against mine. He breaks away to drop his head back. Eyes closed, he inhales deeply, then lets it all out in a gust.

When he opens his eyes and lowers his head to look at me again, my breath catches.

It’s all there. Everything he’s feeling. All the relief. The pure happiness. All the adoration, devotion, and need.

He looks at me the way I’ve always wanted a man to look at me, the way Nick never once did, and it makes my heart so full.

We undress slowly, gazing into each other’s eyes, shedding our clothing the way our hearts are shedding layers of themselves. When I’m standing naked before him, I feel bare in a way I haven’t before. I feel exposed to the raw core of myself, like the tender, innermost center of a peeled onion.

He takes me in his arms. We kiss until I’m trembling and breathless, pressing my fingernails into his shoulders and arching against him.

“Hurry,” I murmur when he bends to suck on my neck.

“Not this time, baby. This time, we’ll take it slow.”

He lowers me to the bed and stands above me, eating me up with hungry eyes. His gaze is devouring, my pulse is flying, and if I don’t have him inside me soon, I might resort to begging.

His erection juts from between his legs. At the slit in the flushed crown, a single drop glistens.

All I can hear is my own ragged breathing and the roar of my heart.

He pushes my legs apart and stares at my pussy, licking his lips. He traces his forefinger up the inside of my thigh from my knee to my hip, then gently massages my clitoris.

A faint moan slips from my lips. My nipples instantly harden. I want to pull him down on top of me, but lie still instead. Letting him stroke me. Letting him take the lead.

He dips a finger inside me, hissing in a quiet breath when he finds me soft and ready for him.

I spread my legs wider and caress my breasts as he watches, his lips tightening and his dick bobbing like it has its own pulse. When I thumb over my aching nipples and arch my back, he takes his stiff dick in his hand and strokes it.

But he still doesn’t make a move to mount me. He slowly finger fucks me and strokes himself while I rock my hips against his hand, play with my nipples, and moan.

I’m so turned on, I could climax just like this.

“This is mine,” he whispers, sliding his fingers all over my exposed sex, spreading my wetness around.

“Yes,” I say breathlessly.

“Show me what’s mine, baby. Open yourself up for me.”

I draw my knees up and display myself.

I feel no shame, only excitement as he examines me, then bends over to swipe his tongue around my clit and lick circles all around it. It throbs and pulses under his attention. Delicious waves of heat radiate from my core, warming my lower body, making me even more eager to feel him inside me.

He chuckles softly. “Look at you rock those hips.”

“Fuck me. Carter, fuck me. I can’t wait anymore.”

Instead of answering, he slowly presses a finger knuckle-deep into my pussy.

I groan and shudder, reaching down to rub my pulsing clit.

“Shameless,” he breathes.

“I need to come.”

“Already?”

“Yes.”

“You’re so perfect.”

I rub my clit and pull at my hard nipple, writhing against the bed as he watches me with hooded eyes until I’m moaning loudly. Then he knocks my hand away and leans over to suck where my fingers were, lapping and teasing the engorged bud.

The sensation is overwhelming. His hard finger inside me, his hot mouth on my flesh. The warm air against my bare skin and the cool satin duvet under my back and bottom. I’m quaking in the bliss of his mouth, tearing apart at the seams.

I feel a contraction deep inside me, and release a long, low moan.

Without a word of warning, he lowers himself atop me. With one hard thrust, he buries himself inside.

I’m so wet, he drives in with no resistance.

Crying out, I buck against his hardness, grinding my clit against his pelvis as the invading girth of his cock spreads me apart. He rises up and fucks me with long, deep strokes, squeezing my breasts and licking my nipples, taking his time to enjoy my body.

Underneath him, I’m frantic, lifting my hips to meet his thrusts. I want it harder, faster, deeper and dirtier, but he won’t give it to me, making fists in my hair so I can’t move my head as he takes me.

“Please. Please!”

His breath is hot near my ear when he rasps, “Yes, baby. Beg for me.”

It’s coming. I can feel the earthquake coming in tremors that build until my bones are rattling and every nerve in my body is engulfed in flames. Wild, I buck beneath him, desperate for release. My breasts bounce as he pumps into me with that same controlled rhythm. He sucks and licks my nipples, presses his teeth into the tender flesh beneath.

When I stiffen and suck in a breath, every muscle in my body taut with the orgasm cresting over me, Carter puts his hand around my throat and squeezes.

Then he gives me what I need and starts to fuck me with full-body thrusts, driving into me relentlessly as I cry out. Suddenly, he’s all over me, fucking me and biting me and squeezing my neck, engulfing me with his heat and the weight of his body.

The earth jolts. My entire body jerks. My orgasm detonates with such power, I can’t even scream.

Carter groans. “Ah, fuck, baby, fuck, you’re coming…oh God…you’re coming so fucking hard.”

He rides me straight through each powerful contraction, grunting in pleasure as my sex clenches around his thick cock. When he moans and throws his head back, I know he’s there too.

Eyes closed, every muscle straining, he shudders, then empties himself inside me with a broken moan. He collapses on top of me, twitching as his cock throbs in bursts.

As our breaths slow, I could swear I hear that car drive by outside again, playing “King of My Heart” through open windows.