BREAKING POINT

“Poor sweet” he murmured. “Letting yourself get worked up about my father’s secretary. It makes me laugh to think about it”

“She looked very attractive” Penny said.

“Oh, she’s pretty but frantically dumb. She really bores me stiff”

But she made you smile, Jeremy, she thought.

“It must be a big thrill for her going out with the boss’s son”

“Well, that is really the reason I took her out. Father said she led a frightfully dull life and never went anywhere so I said I would give her a night out if I had time. As a matter of fact, darling, we spent most of the evening talking about you”

Did you? Was that what made you both laugh? Penny wondered.ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

“I expect she was very disappointed when she heard you were engaged” Penny said.

“Oh, I don’t think she cared” Jeremy said lightly. “She’s married, you know”

“Married?” Penny echoed, surprised. “And in love with her husband?”

“Oh yes! Never stops talking about him” he replied.

Or was it her husband you laughed about? She thought.

“Doesn’t he mind her going out with you?”

“Oh i don’t think so” Jeremy answered vaguely. “He’s pretty broad minded, i gather”

I’m not broad minded… I mind, she thought, but aloud she said, “Jeremy, do you really love me?”

He raised his eyebrows. He was lying on the bed beside her now.

“Of course I do” he said. “You must know that darling, I’d have walked out on you a long time ago if I didn’t care a hell of a lot about you”

Yes, I suppose you would, she thought.

“You believe that, don’t you?” Jeremy persisted.

I suppose so. I think you do love me… As much as you can love anyone.

“Yes I believe you” Penny whispered.

“Strange little thing, aren’t you?” Jeremy remarked thoughtfully. “But very very lovely”

No, don’t kiss me. Not now. Not just yet, Penny thought.

“I will see about dinner” she said quickly, sitting up and throwing one leg over the side of the bed.

“later” Jeremy said. “kiss me, Penny. Do you realize it’s been over a week since I held you like this? Kiss me, darling… Come on”

“It’s late honey. I need to see about the meal”

“You are not still worrying about that other girl?” Jeremy asked, touching Penny’s lips with his forefinger.

“Of course not. I…”

“Then show me that you still love me. Show it” he said.

I can’t. I can’t. I’m too tired, Penny thought.

But she was too tired to fight against him. She closed her mind and submitted herself to his embrace, his sudden hot close caresses, his passion submitted and responded, desperately.

————–

Penny could not understand herself anymore. Every minute of everyday she had spent in Cornwall she had thought about and longed for Jeremy’s lips, Jeremy’s kisses, Jeremy’s arms around her. Now, since their reconciliation last night, she dreaded his advances and tried to avoid his kiss. It did not make sense.

Jeremy had assured her again and again last night that the girl he had taken to the Savoy meant nothing to him… Nothing at all. Penny believed him. He had even apologized for taking the girl out without first asking her if she minded and Penny knew how hard it was for Jeremy to make apologies. He had never been more passionately adoring than during those long, wakeful hours of darkness, and yet in spite of it, of the comfort of his nearness, she still wished she were alone. Her large single bed felt unnaturally small as she edged away from him once he was asleep, and for the first time his body was an irritation.

Waking from a deep sleep she lay still, listening to Jeremy’s little grunts and sighs as he slowly regained consciousness. She wished she were back in Cornwall where she could lie in bed all morning if she wished and have breakfast brought up to her, instead of knowing that in a few minutes she must leave the pleasant, drowsy warmth of the sheets and start cooking for Jeremy. The odour of frying bacon made her sick.

But she was able to eat some toast and marmalade

She was however, acutely aware of every movement Jeremy made and could not understand the unexpected annoyance she felt at his good spirits and enormous appetite. Finally, she was glad when the door closed behind him and she knew that she could be alone until seven o’clock.

For nearly ten minutes she sat on the edge of her bed enjoying the relaxation of privacy. She loosened her gown and ran her hands through her hair. She felt lazy and sleepy and contemplated returning to the bed until she caught sight of the spaniel squatting by the door with his head on one side. He was waiting to be taken out. No, she could not go back to bed, but she would sit here for a little while longer.

Ten minutes later, she dragged herself to the door to answer the bell. A young man stood there with a large box. She knew she had to tip him but she was too tired to go back upstairs. She thanked him with a smile but knew by his expression that he had expected something better. But she couldn’t care.

Inside the box were a dozen crisp, pink tulips with a note from Jeremy, saying : ‘For my love, from her adoring Jeremy’

They were lovely, lovely flowers. It was sweet of Jeremy to have sent them, his way of showing her that he was sorry. She had never received a box of flowers from him before. Howard used to send her flowers before he died. Poor Howard… Now only a ghostly memory.

Penny was able to feel a thrill of gratitude, a renewal of her feeling for Jeremy. She was glad she had not allowed him to sense a complete lack of response from her last night or this morning when he kissed her goodbye. Tonight she would make it all up to him. Tonight everything would be perfect and they would be more in love with each other than ever before. Tonight everything would be so marvelous that she would be able to tell him about the baby. Jeremy would hold her tenderly in his arms and suggested that they get married right away.

But long before Jeremy arrived from work, Penny was on her way to uncle Charles and aunt Ann’s house, where uncle Charles lay dangerously ill following a stroke.