Dirty Little Promise (Forbidden Desires #2)

Emma

We decided on a winter wedding.

I wanted our ceremony to be in the library since it had inspired me so much. Not my tiny little suburban branch, but the big, beautiful library downtown. It gave me the chance to decorate the place I’d always felt was magical with a blizzard of paper snowflakes and fairy lights the way I’d always seen it in my imagination.

And that was exactly what we did. Surrounded by history and books and family, I walked down the aisle a few weeks later on my father’s arm and married the man of my dreams, right there in the classical-poetry section. The wedding party was small—just Bethany in a plum-colored gown and Quinn in a matching bow tie and vest, but I barely saw any of it.

I only had eyes for Gavin.

He stood there waiting for me in his black tuxedo, and when I finally reached him, he held me close, whispering sweet things in my ear.

“You look stunning, Mrs. Kingsley.”

At this, I thanked him, pressing a kiss to his freshly shaven cheek. But Gavin wasn’t done.

“I never thought I’d have this moment, never thought I’d have anything close to this. I love you so much, baby.”

“I love you a million billion,” I whispered, stepping into position when the officiant cleared his throat.

The ceremony was short and sweet. We exchanged traditional vows, though it was likely the only part of our relationship that was traditional. And then, when the ceremony was over and I was in Gavin’s arms, I felt so happy and fulfilled that I didn’t know what to do with myself. All I knew was that with him by my side, everything was going to be okay.

At our reception, I was in Gavin’s arms again, pressed to his chest as we swayed on the dance floor.

“Are you happy, wife?” he asked, a smirk on his lips.

“I’m so incredibly happy. I love you, Gavin.”

As the music sped up to something faster, Gavin pressed a kiss to my mouth and led me back to the table. Bethany sat there with her face in her hands, looking at us dreamily.

“Have I mentioned how gorgeous you look tonight?” he asked me.

“Only a thousand times.” I smiled.

“Every time, it’s been true.” He touched one of the curls that framed my face.

“Are you sure you’re not sad?”

He frowned. “You’re my wife. What on earth would I have to be sad about now?”

I tried not to bring up the topic, as I knew it was a sore one for both Gavin and me. Last I’d heard, Cooper was living in Florida, doing God knows what. He hadn’t followed through on the idea of opening a second location of Forbidden Desires, and I wasn’t sure the reason, but I tried not to pry too much. It wasn’t exactly a sore subject between Gavin and me, and yet it wasn’t something I was entirely comfortable bringing up.

I bit my bottom lip. “You know, that Cooper isn’t here.”

Gavin and I hadn’t discussed it when Cooper’s RSVP card was never returned. We hadn’t known what to expect today. Or, at least, we wouldn’t admit what we knew in our hearts.

“No,” Gavin said. “I’m not sad. Cooper has to find his way. And I think seeing you in your beautiful dress would have killed him all over again.”

I nodded in agreement. Maybe it was for the best.

After dinner, my mother came by our table and pulled me away for a few minutes of girl talk. I was suspicious, but followed her.

“Are you guys going to start trying right away for a baby or wait a while?” my mother asked, bringing one arm around my shoulders as we wandered toward the balcony doors where a thousand stars twinkled outside in the night sky.

“Mom!”

She was being ridiculous. We’d only been husband and wife a matter of hours. Plus, Gavin and I hadn’t had that conversation yet—about children. Maybe that was odd, but I’d always felt in my heart that I would be a mother, and if I knew Gavin, there was nothing he’d deny me.

“It’s not something I’ve thought about much, Mom,” I admitted.

She nodded. “Fine. Just enjoy your new husband. But don’t make me wait too long to become a grandma.”

With my mom’s words ringing in my ears, I greeted relatives and chatted with friends I hadn’t seen since college. Gavin was the perfect gentleman, kind and funny, and he handled my drunk uncle Byron beautifully. I could barely keep my eyes off him, my new husband. I didn’t think I’d ever tire of that word.

Later, he pulled me to the dance floor again, and I melted against his firm, broad chest. We swayed to the music with our family and friends looking on.

“Can I ask you something?” I said.

“Hmm?”Belongs to (N)ôvel/Drama.Org.

“I know it’s early. We’ve only been married three hours, but . . .”

“What is it?” His brows drew together and he paused in the center of the dance floor.

“Actually, you know what? Let’s go get a drink.” I gave his hand a tug, but Gavin remained rooted in place.

“As long as you promise to tell me what’s on your mind, pet.”

Wishing I’d never brought it up, I reluctantly agreed with a nod.

Back at our table with glasses of fresh champagne in front of us, Gavin leaned close. “Tell me.”

“I’ve been thinking about our future.”

“And?” he asked, clearly unsure about where this conversation was heading.

God, why was this so difficult? I took a deep breath. Gavin was my husband. I could tell him anything. We hadn’t discussed having children yet, but I knew in my heart he wouldn’t deny me anything. If I wanted to be a mother, I felt sure he’d support that.

“Do you want kids?” I asked.

His mouth pulled into a frown. “I’m not sure this is the best place for us to have this conversation.”

My heart sank. His tone was harsh and unhappy, like I’d just asked to perform a colonoscopy on him in public.

“I see.”

“Are you surprised, Emma? I’m not the fatherly type. Given my childhood, and what I do for a living? There’s no way I’d want to bring a child into this world. Not ever.”

Tears stinging my eyes, I quickly excused myself and headed for the bathroom.

God, I felt so foolish. Why hadn’t I ever thought to bring this up with him before?

A short time later, Gavin found me standing beside the dance floor with my mother, and he laced his fingers with mine. “Please forgive me. Let’s talk about it later.”

I nodded, my throat tight. Drawing in a deep breath, I tried to force the thoughts out of my mind. I had to have faith that we’d figure it all out later.

We had to.

• • •

And then somehow, it was after midnight and the reception was ending. It had all gone by so fast, I wanted nothing more than to press rewind and do the whole thing again.

I hugged my parents and said good-bye to the few last lingering guests before Gavin crossed the room, tucking me close to his side.

“Will you forgive me, wife? We can talk about your proposal again another time,” he whispered in a low voice.

I nodded and forced the thoughts of babies from my brain. I wouldn’t let anything ruin my wedding night—not even this uncertainty that hung around us like a cloud. Gavin was my husband now, my everything, and maybe that would have to be enough.

We said our good-byes to our guests before climbing into the limo to head home. Once inside the limo, I slid off my heels and let out a heavy sigh.

“Tonight was incredible, wasn’t it?”

Gavin watched me with hooded eyes. “It was perfect. But I’m a very conflicted man.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because I want you to wear that dress forever, but I also want to tear it off of you.”

I smiled as we pulled up in front of my brownstone. I hadn’t been back to the place except to grab a few of my things, but based on the huge red bow on the door, I had to guess the renovations were complete.

“Gavin?” I asked as we stepped out of the limo.

“Come see.”

We made our way through the door, and I gasped.

It was like stepping back in time. Every single thing inside was how my grandmother had had it. Every piece of furniture looked genuine, polished, and perfect. Tears sprang to my eyes but I wiped them away, desperate to drink in as much of the wonderful changes as I could.

“I know you’re not ready to part with this place, that it’s part of you. You can do with it whatever you wish. Have girls’ night here. Use it as a hideout when I act like an asshole.”

I laughed, the sound full and light. “I know what I want to do. I want to open a bookstore here.”

“I think it’s a brilliant plan.”

After we had toured the home with all its beautiful renovations, we were soon back in the limo and I was in Gavin’s lap, kissing him deeply.

“Let’s go home,” I murmured. “I need you.”

“So, have me.” Gavin gave me a wicked smile but I shook my head.

“I’m not riding you wearing a wedding dress while Ben watches.”

Gavin chuckled. “Probably a good call. He’s a good employee, and I wouldn’t want to have to kill him.”

And then we were home—in our bed—all tangled limbs and urgent kisses. We made love slowly, so achingly slow and tender.

But as amazing as it was, a little spot inside my chest still hurt at Gavin’s refusal to make a baby with me.