Tangled in Moonlight: Unshifted

The flames lick at the night sky, consuming our dead. Each tongue of fire carries a name, a story, a life cut short. My wolves' howls pierce the air, raw with grief, and the weight of their pain settles deep in my bones.

Selene's voice is a clear bell through the haze of exhaustion. You need rest.

The smoke stings my eyes. Or maybe those are tears. "Has everyone returned to Wolf's Landing?"

Most have. Only the families remain.

"And Lisa?"

Kellan took her home.

There was something about her tonight, something off. At one point she'd even wandered from her place; Selene was the one to alert her guards. Maybe I should have insisted she stay in her cabin for the night. "Did you notice anything strange about her?"

Humans react differently to pack grief. Selene bumps into my thigh. Even those who've lived among us struggle when hundreds of wolves channel their emotions at once. The energy can be overwhelming.

A memory surfaces—unwanted, unbidden. A crowd of shifted wolves surrounding me, their eyes bright in the dark of night. The fear that comes with such a sight… It no longer has the same effect on me, but I can still remember my days in Blackwood. "You're right. I forget sometimes, how intense it can be."

Turning away from the pyres, I walk toward Wolf's Landing. My guards follow behind, and I wonder if they took enough time to grieve. They were silent for most of the ceremony, paying more attention to my safety than the rites.

Most of the Fae are already gone, probably seeking warmth. They don't seem to like this cold. Only two remain to maintain the barrier, their magic containing our howls of mourning within these grounds.

The feel of their magic is different from mine, but familiar; it's surprising to feel a wave of vague homesickness for the Fae Ward. Not a place that was home, but one of only two places I lived as Ava. Just Ava.

Life seemed so hard then, but it's nothing compared to the responsibility weighing me down now.

You need sleep, Selene observes, keeping pace with me as her furry body keeps bumping into my thigh.

"What I need is—" My voice disappears, fading into a long sigh. What do I need? Lucas, safe and home. Our pack whole again. The ability to turn back time and save those twenty-seven souls. The strength to take over our future. "I need to be stronger."

You are strong.

But right now, with the last of the pyres burning against the night sky, I can only clench my fists as I make my way home.

Stronger.

I need power. Enough to no longer feel afraid when a crazy monster attacks our home—to not feel the need to run away and sacrifice myself as the only other option.

Oh? Grimoire has been quiet all day; grief isn't something he dabbles in much, and he's found the emotions of today to be exhausting. How fascinating. Your will has been tempered.

She has always had a strong will, Selene retorts. It's her self-respect that's lacking.

Ouch.

My temples throb as Grimoire and Selene continue their back-and-forth. The lights of Wolf's Landing pierce through the darkness ahead, but my feet slow on the path back to my cabin.

I want to check on Lisa, but… No. She's with Kellan. The last thing she needs is me hovering when she's finally spending time with her mate. They might even be in bed, and that would be an awkward situation if I came knocking on their door.noveldrama

Why the concern for the human? Grimoire's voice holds genuine curiosity.

Selene's hackles rise. Weren't you paying attention?

Funerals aren't my preferred form of entertainment.

A low growl rumbles from Selene's chest. Twenty-seven of our pack died.

And I mourn Ava's loss. But watching their bodies burn brings me no peace.

The door to my cabin creaks as I push it open. Darkness greets me, along with a silence that echoes Lucas' absence. No warmth lingers within these walls tonight, just memories of what should be.

It doesn't take long to coax the lingering fire into a strong blaze, but the warm glow does nothing to chase away the emptiness. "Lisa seemed off during the rites. She wandered off a little at one point. Nearly gave me a heart attack."

I see.

"It must have been hard to hear all that noise and be surrounded by hundreds of wolves. Even knowing she's safe with the pack, her body probably wanted to run." It's a feeling I'm too familiar with.

Yet you didn't run, Grimoire points out.

My lips quirk. Grimoire might be able to read my memories, but he doesn't seem to understand my life before we met. "Yes, I did. I always ran. It was always about surviving."

Funny; I wanted to be stronger then, too, but it was different. The kind of strong where I could just survive a little easier; that's all I ever wished for. Todd Mason's face flashes through my memory, and that beautiful, moonlit night the day I killed him. The night Lucas rescued me.

What a fascinating memory, Grimoire says, and I can feel him sorting through my head for more.

A snort escapes me as memories of Cedarwood surface. The Novel Grind. My tiny apartment. The life I'd carved out for myself, thinking I was finally free. I'll always miss it, but… "I thought that was the end of everything when they dragged me back to Blackwood. I was so desperate to return."

It feels so distant now.

You've come far from that terrified girl. Selene settles near the fire, curling up into a little husky ball of fur. Though you still are the same in many ways.

My body sinks into the couch cushions, every muscle aching from the day's events. The fire casts dancing shadows on the ceiling, and I trace their patterns with tired eyes.

Oh, this is interesting. Grimoire's presence flutters through my mind, picking through memories like pages in a book. Your brother pushed you down the stairs.

"I was seven. I had the flu, and I wasn't moving fast enough."

Your father threw you into the woods and left you there?

"He wanted me to find my wolf."

Selene snorts.

What a terrible family. The number of 'accidents' in your childhood is concerning.

A laugh bubbles up, surprising me with how hollow it sounds. "You know what's sad? I'm too exhausted to even be angry about it anymore."

Your entire family is deeply flawed.

Grimoire's presence settles in my head, and I can feel how he's done looking through my past. So, how serious are you about getting stronger, my little witch friend?

Selene's eye pops open at his non sequitur. What are you up to, book?